What Wouldn't Jesus Do? 👀🤔

What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Preach damnation louder than salvation just to feel in charge.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Treat his own sins like typos and everybody else’s like felonies.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Confuse Bible study with scrolling for verses that fit his mood.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Talk about faith while practicing fraud.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Act like God outsourced the judgment department to his Facebook page.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Act like the Holy Spirit speaks only in CAPS LOCK.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Preach eternal damnation to strangers but can’t live five minutes without hypocrisy.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Post about the Ten Commandments while breaking three before lunch.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Smile on Sunday and trespass on Monday.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Claim God’s blessing while ignoring God’s commands.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Treat Revelation like a Marvel spoiler.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Think quoting Psalms covers up threats and trespass.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Treat the Bible like it’s a fortune cookie that always agrees with him.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Use “honor thy father” as a guilt trip after decades of control and disrespect.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Act like a victim while trying to annex someone else's land.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Act like hell is reserved for people who disagree with him and not people who act just like him.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Use the Bible like a weaponized horoscope.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Accuse his own family of betrayal while quoting scripture he doesn't understand.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Talk about “teaching lessons” like he’s Moses; while acting like Satan.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Spend 10 minutes reading the Bible and 10 years misquoting it to win petty arguments.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Quote the Gospels like a preacher while moving like Judas in denim overalls.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Call someone ungrateful after they spent years fixing his mess for free.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Say “God sees my heart” right after threatening to inflict damage.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Put his name on a no trespassing sign for land that isn’t his.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Text at 3:42 a.m. like the Holy Spirit gave him legal advice.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Act like forgiveness is earned by reminding everyone how holy he thinks he is.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Rebrand himself as a victim every time someone tells the truth about him.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Post daily devotionals but can’t remember the last time he apologized.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Post Bible verses on Facebook but skip the ones about lying, stealing, and loving your neighbor.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Salivate over money like it’s communion bread.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Post Bible verses just to dodge accountability.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Demand honor while acting dishonorably.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Smile on Sunday and trespass on Monday.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Act like his sins are sacred and yours are unforgivable.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Use the cross as a stage prop while playing the role of the serpent.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Wave the Bible around like it’s a warranty for bad behavior.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Pretend spiritual wisdom lives in his Facebook history.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Flip to a random verse and treat it like a magic 8-ball.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Read one sentence, ignore the context, and declare himself righteous.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Misquote scripture louder than he misreads Amazon reviews.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Use the Word like a get-out-of-hell-free card taped to a temper tantrum.
What Wouldn’t Jesus Do... Preach about heaven with a mouth full of hell.© 2025 WhatWouldntJesusDo.com. All satire, all rights reserved.